lament, poetry, psalms

Where we Float, The Ocean Wild

Wild is the ocean. Where expanse swallows October. Ravens circle, they know the time. When the swell dips too low. And the peaks shoot high. The season when even careless shipmen practice wisdom. They’ve heard, they’ve learned, that our journey will end under the world.

The water is made for drowning. We know it, It knows it. The ocean doesn’t care about how many it swallows. Hungry, uncaring sea. A deep wide tomb for those who feign endurance. Where glitter dives. Where black teeth rip and tear. Deeper into darkness it will draw its visitors, the mass sojourn of the sea. 

We will not fear, though the earth has melted. We brave the flood, not because we are brave. Only because there is no land to stand. Holding your hand. The sea tossed sideways. Steadying the stance, since, we will fall. Waves don’t measure violent blows, throwing their valley and shadows. But we still measure our strength in numbers. 

Which leaves me in the wake. Awake. And unresting. Holding fast to you. That is, if you don’t let go. If I can hold. Yet, the cold wet stings underneath my fingernails.

Lick the salt of the morning. Regurgitate its aftertaste of the afternoon. Midnight meek and mild.

The ocean wild

is where we float to die.

Can we reproach the storms and weather, wind and waves? Our bloating fingers slip and slither. Frozen numb and tingling. Forgotten feeling of a touch. I remember now, I don’t feel anymore.

Senseless, sense-full

Far beyond a shore.

I remember now.

That you said hold…

I’ll hold my breath

but only a moment


we weren’t made 

to hold our breath 


Under, over, air or water

Keep on holding

Deep below

Strain above

It hurts to hold

Beating chest

Inside breath

Crushed the wished hopes

Flushed beneath the watery floor

Panic. Calm. 

Just like the tides. 

Eyes lose focus

Just like the times

In the midst

In the mist

It’s nothing 

But water

And I’m not afraid of water.

But as I wait

And as I hold

They’re lining up the terrors

That I can’t quite hold together 

They know I cannot hold them

They scream for my embrace

Or maybe it’s my gurgling

That dares to scream for theirs

Demonic currents cue demands

Waves who mock thy fearful symmetry 

Black and blue and fiery gold

Smeared corrupt by their commands

Where I cannot separate 

Where I cannot wait

And I can’t hold

This water.

Tempting roaming lies of breath

Wandering in the foaming rage

For My self. My age. My head.

Run the numbers. 

Count the cost.

Sink or swim. 

Live or die. 

Inhale or exhale. 

But I hold. 

I just float. 

Where I can’t feel.


When I can’t breathe


That there is no more shore.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s